NEWS CENTER – The following letter is from Şehîd Bager Nûjiyan (Michael Panser) who fell Şehîd on December 14, 2018 in the free mountains of Kurdistan, in the Medya Defense Zones Şehîd. The letter, which was addressed to his friends in Germany, was read out last year during the memorial service for Şehîd Bager. This year there will be a musical memorial service for him on December 17th in Potsdam (invitation flyer can be found below).
“There is this saying that every generation needs those who do not live their lives as if they had a beginning and an end, but live them with the awareness of an ending and a new beginning. I think I have unconsciously, but over time made it clearer and finally through the conscious decision to make this attitude to my profession, the basis of my path. There has always been this form of profession, of vocation; Nomads, wandering monks, rangers, until modernity in Europe narrowed the space through urbanization, industrialization and state administration.
But there is and always was the nomadic, part of our cultural heritage and subconscious, deepened in 280,000 years of nomadic clan life. In our time, when culture has become so reified and shaped into material values, the profession radically based on the ideal culture of change and self-renewal, has returned in the form of the professional revolutionary. And even if I cannot claim to embody this high ideal, it still serves as a reminder, as a model for a path that many great, beautiful people, higher people have walked before us and as symbols of renewal, of new beginnings , the search for free life and the resistance and fight against what was wrong, the betrayal of humanity. For me it connects all the artisans who were valuable to me but not imaginable separately: writers who tell of the right way, of the worlds that are possible; journalist who searches for the truth and only writes it; Historian, who connects history with life and our time and points to the future; psychologist who clears the blockages of the mind; Musician who can create harmony and beauty out of nothing and silence. Putting all these things on the right footing and giving them meaning took me all the way to Mesopotamia, and made me realize that this path and profession, if it were to be sustainable and not just an individualistic art of living, should be practiced in a broad, collective and organized way must become. I have become part of this great movement here, on the one hand to learn more deeply, to be able to understand how we can first live and advance this change in ourselves, on the other hand in the awareness that the center of the debate of our time, the contemporary attempt to enable a free society and democratic socialism that is Middle East, Kurdistan. Even if my goal is still to bring this clarity, awareness and strength that emanates from here back to Europe, it is not yet clear when the right time will have come and what tasks will still be on this long journey lying way back. It is one of the great and beautiful missions to spread the philosophy and spirit of a new internationalism from here, to Europe and beyond. The way here was only a beginning, because the tasks of the time need a good basis. I’m going to another nursery this summer, two hills to the east in the free mountains. If I have learned so far at elementary school level, this is more of a university framework, I will deepen the connections among wise friends, continue to search for truths. This will be my mission until the fall. What happens after that is open, it means being curious and vigilant. There are many ideas, plans, and if we have understood the background and conditions of the path well, we will be able to make the right decision and something good will come of it. Whatever comes out of it at the end – it’s going to be great. and if we have understood the background and conditions of the path well, we will be able to make a right decision and something good will come of it. Whatever comes out of it at the end – it’s going to be great. and if we have understood the background and conditions of the path well, we will be able to make a right decision and something good will come of it. Whatever comes out of it at the end – it’s going to be great.
Out of all the seasons, I always liked autumn the most – for me it represents a time of clearing, where everything ends, leads to clear, deep meaning and in the storm one feels one’s power. A time of change, an awakening after the lightness of summer. I believe decisions and connections that are made in the fall have always had greater depth for me, for they are made in view of danger, the impending cold snap, and an awareness of the need for the alliance. Maybe the feeling of my youth was an endless autumn, maybe that also describes the climate of our society – in silent expectation of the cold, and in the hope of a spring, of which no one yet knows when it will come and how it will be brought about. I’ve been in a new place for two weeks that says that it is always cold, which is even sung about, but for me it is the best climate, as a child of the north; the only thing I miss are forests. In this respect I was not lucky this year, because also during the summer I found myself at high altitudes, where no tree survived. I spent most of the summer studying, and you might laugh a little when you find out what my friends have come up with for me – I’m just waiting for my violin so I can start my work. How long I’ll stay with it and what future paths are concerned, everything is still open and we’ll see what storm spring brings. I feel at the beginning of a new stage, a period of action, creation, following a long journey dedicated above all to learning and enlightenment. This road has been very long, seven years, ending with the last year and a half in this strange part of the world where there are no maps (and if there are, then they cannot in any way show what the real meaning of these areas is is). I’ve spent most of the last time clarifying the question of the right style and method; Of course, this reflects the question of the right leadership – both self-leadership and the question of initiative in a collective and social sense. Because my weakness was precisely that – not being able to properly express, embody and live what I thought was right, true and beautiful. From the detachment of thinking they developed these many mistakes, idealistic approaches, wrong attitudes, Negativity and anger (basically these outbursts of anger, which are actually panic attacks, represent the patriarchal fear, which on a small scale brings out the nihilistic gesture of fascist aggression, mental micro-fascism, a helpless outcry against the apparent hopelessness of the situation and a mirror of violence the world, which is always against the wrong ones); above all, I believe that despite the appearance of rushing initiative, I am terribly slow to learn and change as far as real understanding goes. helpless outcry against the apparent hopelessness of the situation and mirror of the violence of the world, which is always directed against the wrong ones); above all, I believe that despite the appearance of rushing initiative, I am terribly slow to learn and change as far as real understanding goes. helpless outcry against the apparent hopelessness of the situation and mirror of the violence of the world, which is always directed against the wrong ones); above all, I believe that despite the appearance of rushing initiative, I am terribly slow to learn and change as far as real understanding goes.
From now on the way back begins for me, the attempt to come home. Of course not the old home that no longer exists; but the way of creating a world worth living in. Our home is the land of the children of the future, as some friends put it, and the way to get there is through understanding and uniting our past with our deep desires and reality. My path in this part of the world and all decisions were aimed at finding a solution to the dilemma of our youth and society. Perhaps also because I’m a good deal more conservative than I would have previously admitted to myself, I feel that my path is drawing me to Europe and that the part that falls to me mainly takes place there. This is probably also related to that I only learned late to gain a feeling for a kind of home and for the society I come from, and that the longing for consciously living a connection is correspondingly strong and fresh. I want to live a laughing revenge against the long time of prevented love and blocked desire, which does not destroy, but forces everything wrong to change and to recognize the truth. The discussions we’re having here bode well, and while it’s not yet clear when and how everything will unfold, I think it’s all very good and something great is coming out of it. I trust that you and yourselves are progressing and your energy is steadily growing.”
