NEWS CENTER – Serxwebûn newspaper published in its new issue the reports of Şehid Sara Tolhildan and Şehid Rûken Zelal, who shocked the AKP-MHP government to the core with their Fedaî action, as they did not expect it. The reports of the two Fedaî commanders who revealed with their action a new line compared to the current phase were translated from Turkish into German and were addressed at different times to the battalion of the immortal Şehid Zilan , to the and the headquarters of the YJA Star Special Forces.
The first report was written by Şehid Sara Tolhildan to the Battalion of Immortals, Şehîd Zîlan:
MY FEDAÎ ACTION REPORT TO THE BATTALION OF IMMORTALS, ŞEHÎD ZÎLAN.
“My first and last name: Dilara Ürper
Battle name: Sara Tolhildan
I was born on April 4, 1992.
I come from Çeman village in Uludere district in Şırnak.
I come from a cosmopolitan family structure where feelings of welatparêzî are prevalent and there is an emotional attachment to the chairman and the party, but stuck between the party culture and the feudal measures of life and created by the addition of the metropolitan lifestyle. My family’s connection to the Party coincides with the times when b…… was a militia for the organization before I opened my eyes to the world.
My family, like many other families from northern Kurdistan who were scattered all over the world as a result of the policy implemented by the Turkish Republic in 1993-94 to clear the villages, separate the people from their land, culture and all the life values associated with their existence and force them to migrate, emigrated to southern Kurdistan. On this basis, I spent my childhood and the time I tried to learn about life under harsh conditions in the south of Kurdistan. These harsh conditions affected my personality positively and negatively in many ways. Living in the camps, meeting the reality of the enemy at a young age, the brutal, inhumane and ruthless attacks I witnessed in the foundation of the KDP, which is a servant of the colonialist Turkish Republic, and the beheading of our innocent 70-year-olds who committed no sin, caused a deep pain in me that I cannot describe, as well as the feeling that I absolutely must take our revenge when I grow up. On the other hand, besides the ugly, immoral policies of the KDP, the efforts of the Freedom Movement to protect the people in the camps despite the harsh conditions, and the moments when attempts were made to make the teachings of the Chairman public, were the main reasons for my joining the Party. For this reason, I promised when I was 7-8 years old that I would become a guerrilla when I grew up.
The years passed and there were great changes in our lives. At the beginning of 2000, due to some family problems, we left the precious people in the camp, with whom we had experienced the same difficulties, shared the same joys and sorrows, and turned to the metropolises of Turkey. However, I never digested our departure to Turkey. I always lived with the dream that one day we would return either to the camp or to our village. For this reason, when my family enrolled me in the system’s schools, I rejected it with great hatred. Because I had laid my foundation with my own culture. Despite all the impossibilities in our own schools, I had the honor of learning in my own language. I shouted and sang our own hymns. I was introduced to my own chairman. Attempts were made to educate me with my own historical consciousness. Was it possible to adapt to this life with such feelings! Of course, this does not mean that my personality was not affected by this lifestyle. There is also damage that occurs in many ways. However, it was always important for me to protect my past and keep my promise. On this basis, I joined the ranks of the party from Istanbul on July 7, 2009.
I SAID I WOULD BE A BURDEN BEARER WHEN I JOINED THE PKK
When I talk about my path in the organization and my participation style: I had said when I was still in the system, “If I join the PKK, I will be a burden bearer, not a burden.” I always wanted to go forward with this understanding, even if I could not fill it with content very much. But because I was far away from the ideology, culture and measures of PKK life, especially because I did not know the misleading personality realities created by the given life in the individual, despite all my good intentions, I could not overcome the participation style, or rather the lack of style, for a long time, which was imposed on myself as well as on the organization and the Hevals. Because of the understanding that the dialectic of the PKK’s life has given us militant candidates, the individual who wants to fight, even if he experiences shortcomings, if he is ambitious and determined to follow the path he has chosen, knows that the difficulties he has experienced will not and must not in any way be an obstacle to the responsibility he wants to bear. Perhaps the awareness of this is weak at first, but with time this realization and awareness develops. Even though I was far from the intensity with which I understood the explosiveness and seriousness of the reality of life in the early trials and gave myself a mission on that basis, the essence of the confusion I experienced in my feelings reflected the fact that I was far from many of the PKK’s moral criteria. I needed awareness to eliminate this distance. I tried to acquire this awareness through the Chairman and the diaries that the fallen Hevals left as a legacy.
After reading the book “Three Immortals with their Fedaî Lives”, I became aware of the existence of Hêzên Taybet (Special People’s Defense Units HPG) organization during this learning process. Based on this decision and the acceptance of my application to Hêzên Taybet, I started working for the organization in the last months of 2010. When I joined the organization, I came to know the reality of the Fedaî, which is defined as the living essence of the PKK. What I achieved as a result shook me. Because what I had experienced as a feeling until that moment brought me closer to myself in a concrete way. I realized how much I had been alienated from myself, how much I had lost my identity, how much I was an enemy. But while this self-knowledge should have led to a great fighting attitude, a great hatred of the enemy, and a strong fulfillment of the necessities of life, I experienced in myself an attitude that chose the easy way, looked at the situation emotionally rather than objectively, and therefore took a step back. So the problem was not in the place, but in me, in my personal reality that the enemy had destroyed. I had to stay and fight with myself, with my self that belonged to the enemy and free my soul. Once again, if I wanted to fight for my values, for which I claimed to be loyal, for my chairman, my movement and my people, I had to be myself first. How could I claim to come out of myself and become millions without being myself, that is, without experiencing xwebûn?
This style of participation enabled me to enjoy life, but over time it also gave me the feeling and reinforcement that my previous participation was not up to the process, that it was too weak in dealing with current tasks and dealing with historical tasks, and that I needed a deeper understanding of the world to do this. On the basis of these deepenings, I proposed myself for the Battalion of Immortals Şehid Zîlan. I waited for three years for my proposal to be accepted. After three years, I had the opportunity to join the battalion. I went through a very valuable and meaningful training in the environment of the battalion. This training really helped me to gain understanding.
Of course, in addition to the moral and beautiful qualities I acquired, especially as a woman who is strong-willed, the line of militancy that responds, I was still far from representing the identity and mission of Şehid Zîlan Battalion through the siege of the given life that still existed in many aspects.
For this reason, I cannot be the answer to Zîlans, Zınar, Doğa, Munzur, Rojhat and Jîndas without removing this siege as a whole. I am aware of this. For this reason, I cannot hide behind justification. Because Zınar, Doğa, Munzur, Rojhat and Jînda and dozens of my hevals, my heroic people and my chairman, who is the greatest fedaî, have shown us with their fighting attitude what kind of spirit the time demands. My task is not to live according to the great values they have created, but to be worthy of them. For this reason, my desire and aspiration to be the answer to the reality of the Şehids, which are our greatest values and as a requirement of loyalty to the teachings of Rêber APO, is stronger than ever.
TO ALL HEVALS WHOSE HEARTS BEAT WITH APOISTIC TRUTH,
The reality that makes the PKK the PKK is the value of truth in the Hevaltî. Our party, the PKK, has become a party, an army, under the leadership of our chairman, by deeply experiencing the truth of the Hevaltî, and it has succeeded in becoming the voice of all the oppressed today. The answer to the Haki’s, Kemal’s, Ferhat’s, Mazlum’s, Bêrîtan’s, Zîlan’s and Saras, who have become symbols in the history of PKK, has always been the expansion and glorification of Hevaltî. For this reason, for those of us who have been influenced by this tradition and who want to be the successors of this tradition, Hevaltî relations come first. In order to find out whether a person follows the PKK line correctly or not, it is enough to look at his relations with the Hevals. Because our chairman said, “The Hevaltî reflect the essence of social relations. They reflect both the society of the future and the historical society. They are mainly ideological relations. They are the relations of truth that reveals and brings out the ideology”, our cooperative relations must reflect the essence of the democratic communal value system that we want to represent. On this basis, participation styles and relationships that do not correspond to the truth of Hevaltî are tantamount to betrayal. On this basis, when I question my own reality and look at my path in the PKK, I can often see aspects of myself that are incompatible with the truth of the Hevaltî. I am aware that these aspects I think I see are a form of expression of the sovereign spirit that lives within my personality. When I want to find out who dominates in the struggle between the maternal culture, which represents the democratic community values, and the sovereign masculine mind, I usually look at my participation and attitude in life and find that the moments when I participate strongly are the moments when the maternal culture, i.e. the reality of the chairman, is dominant. In all the moments that harm life and defeat the Hevaltî, these are the moments when the Given controls and directs my ego. Although there is a great hatred for the given in the wanting, feeling and thinking, I often fall into the trap of the masculine mind that lives in my ego because I cannot knead and order the hatred present with consciousness. In other words, I succumb to the enemy within myself. However, in order for this trend not to continue, I am aware that I have no other option but to accept myself and discipline my personality so that the maternal mentality prevails in my feelings, thoughts and attitude towards life, eliminating the dominant mind as a whole. In some moments of life, there are moments when I am betrayed by impartial tendencies, which manifest themselves concretely in some moments when I fall into ignorance, give up the fight for myself, forget myself and my past, and thus betray myself. In order to uproot this betrayal tendency from my entire self, I feel with all my cells that I have to materialize in the reality of Şehid Sema Yüce, that I have to wage a Sema war with myself, that I have to overcome all human weaknesses with Sema and move towards a single center and that these requirements happen through the destruction and burning of the existing “I” and the creation of a new “I” in the beauty of Sema from these ashes. However, it will be the determination and assertiveness that I will maintain in the struggle that I am having with myself that will bring me together with my own being.
With this claim and determination, I am very happy and excited that I will meet you, my dear comrades, on the right basis. There are many moments when I have damaged and harmed the cooperative relations in the foundation of the environments where I have been. However, I will not be content with just experiencing the pain of those moments. I will fight a correct battle of self-criticism. I will give it with my life action in every moment and in every field. Finally, I have always loved you and I will always love you very much. I greet you with these feelings.
TO ALL COMRADES,
As a female comrade who has the honor of being and fighting in PKK, I always wanted to deal with the reality of women that our chairman has revealed, what level it should reach and draw conclusions. For this reason, the Kurdish people, as they have come back from the brink of extinction and gained an existence thanks to the great efforts of our chairman, are today an alternative to capitalist modernity if they want to organize themselves with the democratic, ecological and women’s liberation paradigm and be an answer and on this basis, if they have come out of the objective position and have acquired subjectivity, this is not detached from the point of view in their treatment of the women’s question. This is true throughout history up to the present day. Those who wanted to fight for freedom first had to clarify their attitude towards women and reject all immoral practices of the given situation. It would not be wrong to cite Zarathustra, Mani, Babek and Sheikh Bedrettin as examples. However, in all the movements and teachings that want to find answers to social problems up to the conditions of the capitalist system, where the historical bifurcation took place and women lost their authority and with it all their social values and came under the leadership of the sovereign male system in all respects, which today leaves no value of femininity, it is difficult to witness an approach and tendency like that of our chairman, which approaches the women’s problem from a social basis and puts it on its agenda as a way to abolish slavery. Perhaps a great effort was made, that should not be denied. But even among women themselves, there were no pioneers of the struggle who would have approached the problem at that level. Very valuable steps might have been taken. There may have been women’s uprisings along these lines all over the world. But as much as I have learned and tried to understand myself, none of them have defined the existing woman in the reality of the chairman, that is, the woman in the given measures of life and the reality of the woman that needs to be rebuilt, and made it a reason for struggle.
For this reason, I consider myself very fortunate, because I am fighting to protect my existence and secure my freedom with the PAJK identity, which has become a party and an army under the leadership of our chairman and as a result of the great efforts of hundreds of fallen women comrades, and which has the aspiration to liberate all women from slavery, and to this end it is growing day by day and reaching the essence that can lead the liberation of society. Of course, in addition to my concentrations in this direction, I can state that the criticism of our chairman: “Friends, I must state that I find their approach to women’s revolution exaggerated. They speak and write as if such a revolution had taken place” seriously shook me. Especially when I start from my own reality, I see that my level of struggle in daily social practical life is very low. Based on our chairman’s statement, “Those who are stuck themselves cannot be able to solve the stuck conditions of others and liberate others,” I experience more than ever that I have many aspects that are backward-traditional, far from gender consciousness, and that I cannot achieve success without overcoming myself in this direction. To this I can say: in order to properly wear the PAJK identity, I must separate myself in every way from the social reality created by dominant male thinking! As our chairman pointed out, “absolute separation,” that is, “not putting myself in a relationship of dependence with the system and refusing to be its slave.” That means educating and disciplining myself in every way and adopting a strong-willed attitude by deeply understanding that I am nobody’s property and at the same time nobody is my property. To fight a hard battle for that….
Therefore, I can say that I have traveled with many false characteristics until today. I still have many false characteristics, but I cannot reveal them, which is related to how much I understand the truth of the Chairman and how much I still need to understand. Of course, what I have received from the chairman is just a drop in the bucket. I have to work harder for it. I am aware of this and will fight the battle to live with it, to respond to the reality of the Şehids who are our great values; Zîlan, Sema, Gulan, Sara, Jînda and all the Hevals whose names I cannot list, stronger than ever, and if I succeed, I will say that I am a PAJK fighter. With these feelings I greet you all.
TO ALL PEOPLES WHO HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN THEIR HUMANITARIAN DUTY,
What makes life beautiful? How can we live comfortably, how can we talk about the beauty of life when our people, our women, our children and our homeland are being destroyed, our land is being taken away from us, our culture is being assimilated, i.e. all our values that make us who we are are being sacrificed to the interests of some elitist bagmen as a result of the wars of power grabbing and exploitation that are being waged all over the world in general and in the Middle East and Kurdistan in particular? How can we think only of ourselves and our children when other people’s children are sacrificed to war? In this case, are we not at least as guilty as those who have made this life (if it can be called life) unworthy of humanity? Why do we allow ourselves to be lulled by them? While we are lulled by the media, which is the biggest tool of the special war, with immoral TV programs, the fanaticism of soccer and the meaningless festivals (the entertainment culture of capitalist life), we do not know what has been stolen from our humanity! They are not ready to recognize the PKK movement, which is aware of these immoral practices inflicted on humanity and its chairman, our chairman Abdullah Ocalan. However, in the PKK movement, which is led by our chairman, all social values are brought to life. The PKK is the name of the new life. It is the alternative to the capitalist and imperialist system with its democratic, ecological and women’s liberation paradigm. It is the combination of the great values created by Zoroaster, Hallac-i Mansur, Babek, Sheikh Bedrettin, Deniz, Abraham and many other movements and teachings that have fought for humanity in history until today.
That is what I call you! Do not ask the PKK for accountability for the dirty war waged, but the ruling monopolistic heads who take this life for granted. Why do people die every day? Why do some people live in abundance while others die of hunger and misery? But isn’t the truth of unity, solidarity, equality, justice, that is, conscience and morality, at the core of all great religions? Considering that the belief in Islam is predominant in the Middle East; The word meaning of Islam is peace and the philosophy of life that “he does not go to bed full when his neighbor is hungry”, we must ask ourselves the following questions based on this: Who caused this dirty war? Why do people build bombs and blow themselves up? Then we will learn that there are the USA, the EU and the colonialist Turkish Republic that present themselves as humanitarians and advocates of human rights and that there are collaborating states and groups that are not yet states. If we want to oppose the existing reality of exploitation, usurpation, rape, war, in which the will of the people is not recognized, we must send the following message to those who pose as divine justice: “We are the people!”. In other words: We are the truth! And we are the real ones, because we existed when you did not exist as a state, and everything made much more sense. As a people, as a society, we had no problems with each other. There was no confessional or racial conflict. Because we were people first and foremost.
Now, it can be said that we as PKK also wage war and kill people. In a narrow sense, this statement is correct. But if you know the PKK even a little bit, you will realize that the PKK does not want that at all. But those who are bent on exploitation, extortion and blood leave the PKK no other way. Despite the enormous efforts of Rêber APO, the Turkish Republic in particular and the ruling system behind it in general have always opted for war. This is because democratic and peaceful methods do not suit their interests. This is the reason why the PKK is fighting! And as fighters of the PKK you should know that we will not accept this life that is being done to our people in any way, that all the immoral and brutal attacks will not go unanswered and that we will burn them all like a ball of fire in the headquarters and centers of those who feed on the blood of innocent people!
TO MY PATRIOTIC PEOPLE!
We have always suffered in history. We have always been subjected to death, rape, massacre, exploitation and plunder because we have not been able to maintain our unity and solidarity, or rather because we have not been able to have unity, solidarity and an organized attitude. And, of course, the fact that those who led us sacrificed everything to their personal interests has also troubled us. However, the conditions in which we can live freely in our own country, govern ourselves and live with our own culture are now closer than ever. Perhaps you are also suffering greatly right now, and you yourselves have witnessed the devastation of our villages, towns and cities by the enemy. In other words, the concrete bill for the reality of war is being presented to you quite deliberately. Because the enemy (specifically the Turkish Republic and the collaborating comprador sector behind it) does not tolerate the achievements that we have made under the leadership of Rêber APO and the PKK. In other words, before the chairman and the movement, we were subjected to great massacres because we were weak, weak-willed and unorganized, but now they are attacking us because we have come together and organized under the leadership of Rêber APO, because we have the will and because they are afraid of this level of development. They turn to us because they know where the revolution developing in Rojava will lead. Because the development of the Kurds means the development and liberation of the peoples of the Middle East. However, these developments do not serve the interests of the enemy. For this reason, the ruthlessly waged war could last longer and we could pay a higher price. In this regard, we must prepare ourselves and clarify our position. We must keep the spirit of resistance of Mehmet Tunç, Pakize, Fatma and Sêvê alive because any other way will lead to surrender, betrayal and further bloodshed. For this reason, I see myself as a candidate to explode in the enemy’s brain, a daughter who has sworn to avenge our people who were burned alive, my Hevals who became Şehids and our innocent people who were shot. I want you to know that as with all my hevals, it will never be my goal to kill innocent people. Do not believe the slanderous policy of the enemy in this direction!
Bijî Serok Apo!
Bê Serok Jiyan Heram Be!
– Long live the unity and solidarity of the peoples!
– Long live the women’s army that is developing in four parts of Kurdistan!
– Down with all forms of usurpation and colonialism!
– Long live the Apoist Line in all conditions!
FAMILY
I want you to know that I have always loved and respected you and that I have tried to live as a daughter worthy of you.
Since you know my loyalty to the PKK movement, I believe you will understand my actions. However, I would like to share some points with you. First of all, you should know the following reality: I joined the ranks of the PKK on my own initiative and I was given the opportunity to carry out such action based on the intensive proposals I made to the organization on my own initiative. For this reason, I ask you not to approach the matter emotionally and not to take a different attitude towards the organization.
Perhaps it will be very difficult for you, but you should know that your daughter is not the only one who has achieved martyrdom. For the sake of this holy cause, we have mothers and fathers who have paid such a high price, we have so many virtuous hevals who have achieved martyrdom, that my martyrdom is like a drop in the bucket compared to those hevals. Therefore, recognize the value of the whole ocean, not just a single drop, and hold on to it. Hold fast to the struggle on that basis, with the awareness that the time we are in is a time when everyone can contribute something, which was b…. years ago was a destiny. “This war is not always limited to the countryside and the guerrillas. The day after tomorrow it will move to the cities. We have to make preparations for that”. Today the war is in the cities, so join in.
Finally, I would like to say something about my mother: my beautiful angel, I have always loved and appreciated you very much. From your letter I understood that you are heartbroken in this regard. However, I do not hold any grudge against you, on the contrary, I have always loved you very much and tried to respect you. My devotion to you became even more meaningful after I joined the PKK. Perhaps I could not stay with you and my sister for too long. In this respect, I was deprived of women’s love. However, when I joined the PKK, I met very valuable female comrades and had very meaningful exchanges. Maybe that is why I was not lucky with you, but I am very happy with PAJK.
I would like to express my love and greetings to you all once again.
Respectful apoistic greetings
11.06.2016
Sara Tolhildan”
