BEHDINAN – In the guerrilla, each friend removed the other’s gun and name; Stating that this is a tradition that immortalizes the martyrs, PAJK Member Zeynep Kızılırmak said that it both puts a heavy responsibility on people and gives them a great honor. Zeynep Kızılırmak, named after the three Zeynep’s, underlined the following: “Each guerrilla name is a story in itself. Behind it, there is a legacy, history, and revolution; He is both the teacher and the commander. In fact, you become it, it becomes you.”
Being a successor in the PKK is a tradition. An Agit goes and a thousand comes, a Mazlum goes and a thousand comes, a Bêrîtan goes and a thousand comes, and a Zîlan (Zeynep Kınacı) goes and comes and the tradition continues. PAJK member Zeynep Kızılırmak, who continues this tradition, talked about her journey to reach that name.
Before coming to your choice of name, I would like to ask: Where and in what family were you born and raised?
I am from Sivas. It is a region where Southwestern culture is dominant, mostly close to Malatya. My family is Kurdish Alevi, but he lost his Kurdish identity early. His mother’s side came from Malatya Akçadağ, and his father’s side came from Dersim after the 1938 genocide. We lived without knowing this for a long time. White assimilation is very intense in the Southwest. That’s why everyone has secrets in their family. It is known that there are secrets in every family, but they are not told, especially to children. Each of us has a family of grandmothers who secretly tie black clothes and cry. Says something in a language you don’t know. You know that there is something mystical there, but you don’t do anything about it, you just see it as a part of you. You look like a mystical mother, a mystical grandmother. There is no cultural transfer other than that. That’s why his identity was lost too soon.
“Kurdish or Alevism?” Against the imposition of belief, that is, Alevism was chosen. Thus, ethnic identity was lost. So they ask us, ‘Are you Kurdish? Are you Turkish?’ When they asked, we would say ‘We are Alevis’. When we asked our parents, they would say ‘We are Alevis’.
In fact, it is a form of self-protection. The more people read, the better they understand leadership. In fact, when he says ‘I am Alevi’, he wants to say that he is Kurdish, but because he cannot say that, he has a situation of being drawn into himself with secrets. Every family in that area has secrets. It’s different inside the house, it’s someone else outside. Inside the house, the adults are different, you are different. There’s always something you don’t know about family, and that’s how you walk.
I think it was women who carried these secrets the most. What is the place of women in your family in your life?
Since my childhood, the place of women in my life is very clear. I have always taken women as my models. My grandmother Xanê, with whom I grew up, was a woman of secrets and a model for me as well. Every herb has its own designation on its origin. In other words, if Xane had not been there, I might not have met with the PKK. There were his secrets, the black writing he kept in his chest, the bloody clothes, and I never learned his story. She always wore black kofi, black writing and bloody dresses were always in her chest. Xanê raised us with those secrets and social moral standards. The women from him were my future model. Later, I left Xanê and came to the city, which was very challenging for me. It’s one of my first breakouts. For me, it was a place where I was sheltered, loved and where I felt safe. I have never felt so safe in the city.
How was your life in the city, the environment in which you grew up and which affected you?
I grew up in a slum-dominated neighborhood in the city where poor Alevis are concentrated. We grew up with leftist older brothers and sisters. Therefore, the search for later role models was in this direction. In my youth, I stayed in the left movement for a while. There was an orientation with the excitement of the youth, but what you see and experience around is not enough, something is always left unfinished. Someone was going and struggling. There was an injustice. There is an injustice, someone always goes and fights against that injustice to a certain extent, after a while he comes back to his house. It’s always like that, and families are used to it. Here he is young, let him stay for a few years, then come back. The phrase “I doubt the honor of those who are not leftists at their 20s, but I doubt the minds of those who remain leftists after their 40s” is used a lot. Especially after the 80s, that decay, corruption and the development of petty-bourgeois tendencies within the left developed such an understanding. It should not be unfair either, because it formed a culture; You will not betray your comrade, you will not lie, you will be in solidarity. These approaches were always taught at that time. The older sisters and brothers in the neighborhood also gave this moral culture. Of course, it was going up to a point, after a point there was no struggle. After being in the left struggle for a while, this was no longer enough. You say you won’t be like them. You motivate yourself by saying, “Since I am a revolutionary, I must take this job to the end.” You will be in solidarity. These approaches were always taught at that time. The older sisters and brothers in the neighborhood also gave this moral culture.
Could you tell us about the process of deciding from a leftist Alevi woman to become Zeynep, a Kurdish Alevi from the PKK?
There were leftists in our neighborhood, but there was no PKK. The period I was in high school was the period when immigration from villages to cities started with the 90s. We had a friend in high school, I heard from him that Lice was burned. I started to question and ask, “Where is the lice, where is it happening?” You read classical literature, you know the Russian settlements, but you do not know what is going on in your own country, in your own land, in Lice. I started asking. I was so ashamed of myself; how I don’t know about Lice and what happened. You know, I see myself as a born leftist and socialist… I’m also a socialist, nations have the right to self-determination. At that time, I was saying that the Kurds should also have the right to self-determination, that is, I was expressing it like an internationalist. That’s when the interest in what happened in Kurdistan started.
I started to buy the Özgür Gündem newspaper. The editor-in-chief of the newspaper was Gurbetelli Ersöz. Since the name sounded interesting, I did a little research. In terms of awareness, it would be appropriate to say that I started with Gündem newspaper. I was following the daily developments from the newspaper. The articles and news were very instructive. Gurbetelli, my second teacher after Xanê, became friends.
The year I entered the university, Heval Zîlan’s action happened. It created a big shock. I heard it first on Turkish television. ‘Why does a person, a woman do this, what drives a person to do this, what kind of will?’ questioning developed.
My first concussion was Lice, a friend from Gurbetelli taught it to me, without being aware of where Lice was. The second was Heval Zîlan’s act that caused a great shock. Everything I had said before that seemed empty now. After that, my search shifted to searching for friends. I left the Turkish left. I’m going, I’m sitting next to my friends, they were saying why did he come and sit next to us. Usually they go and organize, but this time I go and find them, I ask. I was asking awkward questions.
I was involved in youth work, we used to go to HADEP sometimes. They said that Heval Zîlan’s aunt lives in Istanbul. I went to their house to ask about Heval Zîlan. I went on behalf of the visit, but my original intention was different. I was curious and actually wanted to understand Zîlan. The last time he made a phone call was his aunt, I was constantly commuting to his house. He shows and explains his photos. Here, some things are not spoken, you just feel it, you live it. We do not know how to express it, we are incomplete in expressing it.
I had a friend in our field while I was doing youth work. He was a friend from the guerrilla, he was doing frontline work, and he asked where I was from. When he learned that I was from Sivas, he said, ‘Do you know Heval Jiyan?’ she asked. I said I didn’t know. ‘She was from Sivas, Zeynep Erdem,’ she said. That’s how I met Heval Jiyan. Later, I learned that Heval Jiyan was martyred in the Ertuş camp. After that, I wondered what Heval Jiyan is like, who he is, what kind of friend he is, and I started researching.
When did you get the name Zeynep?
When I decided to join, I promised myself that my name would be Zeynep as soon as I stepped on the mountain. You get a name according to what you aim for. Mine was a contract. Three revolutionary women, Heval Jiyan’s name at home, Zeynep Erdem, who paved the way for us, Heval Zîlan’s name at home, Zeynep, and Gurbetelli’s name on the mountain. These three are my teachers. The day I stepped on the mountain, my name was Zeynep.
Whether we are worthy or not, people question themselves a lot on this issue. Every time my name is called, I ask how worthy I can be. People are constantly questioning themselves about this. Every time you stumble, he grabs your commanders’ hands and lifts you up. In fact, all martyrs are our commanders and guides.
You took the three leading women of the Kurdish women’s struggle as your guides. It has weight, but you definitely gain strength, right?
I once dreamed of all three of them at the same time. There was a long stream in my dream. I was standing on one side of the stream, a wooded place and many people behind me. Heval Zeynep, Heval Zîlan and Heval Jiyan. I am on one side of the water; I’m a civilian and I’m screaming to death. I try to make my voice heard; Here I am, take me too. It’s like I’m lost. I can’t make my voice heard. Then I pick up a stone from the ground and throw it towards them so they can see me. They see that stone and they turn to me, they see me. Then they throw a rope at me. They roped me to get me and I woke up…
After that, this difficulty does not seem like a challenge to me, because they threw the rope at me, they saved me, I said. You feel like they’re holding your hand like that. My grandmother was like that for me until I met these friends. My grandmother would save me every time I had a hard time, but after meeting my commanders, my grandmother did not come to my dream. Heval Jiyan, Zeynep and Heval Zîlan always hold my hand like this when I have difficulties. If I’m wrong, it’s like they grab me by the collar and shake me.
Taking their name is also a heavy responsibility. Sometimes, the weight of the state of not being worthy also collapses on people. Sometimes we get names, but they are such a great reality, look at the lives of those three revolutionaries, such great revolutionary women, such great commanders; Everything they do and experience is a line. How worthy you can be the moment you carry that name, people are a little afraid of it, too.
It is very important to be a successor to the PKK and to keep its name alive. How do you interpret this culture as one of those who practice it?
In fact, it is an immortalizing culture. He immortalizes as much as he deserves. Heval Zîlan says, “I want to have a big life and a big claim”, to exist, to stay in the future, to be a line. To leave that truth you live to generations. This is not something that is limited to the guerrilla. In the guerrilla, each friend raises the other’s weapon, removes his name. It is a tradition that immortalizes martyrs. It both imposes a heavy responsibility on people and gives them great honor. You have to think twice when you make a mistake. You can’t get close and cheap. This is already the case in Kurdish society.
Each guerrilla name is a story unto itself. Behind it is a legacy, a history, a cross section of the revolution; He is both the teacher and the commander. In fact, you become it, it becomes you.
