Family, State and Society Approach to Child Abuse
On January 27, 1995, the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child is signed by the Republic of Turkey. The approach of the State to child abuse, let alone preventing the abuse; the state conceals it, punishing the child who is victimized, and causes the child to be abused again as the legal process progresses.
Child Follow-up Center, which was established to prevent the child from being worn out again during the forensic process, these centres are known for being inadequate both in quantity and quality. In addition, these centres do not carry out rehabilitation or preventive activities.
Turkey who was one of the firsts, (with rejections to certain articles) signed in 1995: the Children’s Rights meant the duty to teach the rights of children within the Convention. It promises that the whole of society will be fully educated to create awareness on this issue, but a serious study in school is not the case. There is no study in the curriculum from primary school to high school except for superficial topics and courses that do not have satisfactory content.
Most children are unaware of this agreement. The social sector is far from approaching this issue with seriousness. With the contract to which the State is a party, especially in the education of adults and professionals working with children; Although it is obliged to take the necessary measures in this regard, it does not take serious steps.
When we turn our faces to family and society, we cannot make a determination independent of capitalist modernity and the phenomenon of power.
In the family where the state institution and the government are re-produced at any time, abuse is often hidden, covered or the victim is accused. In 70% of cases of abuse, an abuser is a man whom the child is familiar with or shares the same house with; this takes us back to the phenomenon of power.
Violence, abuse, rape can easily be pushed under the carpet of intimacy, with the distinction between acts in the private sphere and the public sphere. The consecration of marriage and family makes the abuse legitimate, whatever happens in the family. Under this cover and legitimacy, abuse, violence and rape can repeat itself incessantly and comfortably.
The body, existence, sociality of the child, which was decided to come to life for a continuation of the lineage; ranges from the family choosing the child’s profession to incalculable abuse. The life of the child becomes an area where the family thrives itself both socially, psychologically and academically.
The attitude of the society proceeds in the form of finding endless penalties for the abusers (“Let them be executed, castration” etc.). Under the influence of the media, which reports the cases of abuse through the magazine, the abuse is only spoken but far from being discussed.
However, in every field where power is reproduced, abuse is also reproduced. Therefore, the discussions do not evolve into a solution. Because to descend, society must face its own reality. A rapist/abuser is defined as a ‘sick person who grew up outside the society’, they are fictionalized.
The basis of the disease model is essentially the following assumption: rape is a result of mental illness and is often the product of an uncontrollable sexual impulse. It is argued that the men who raped them lack the ability to control themselves and are ‘sick’, unbalanced individuals. In this case, rape is seen as the expression of a rising impulse at the point of explosion.
Obviously, since rapist men could not control their behaviour, they could not be responsible for that behaviour. The current perspective is also inclined to adopt this disease-based model. In this case, all kinds of sexual violence are justified. It seems difficult to find a long-lasting solution without deciphering all these relations of power.
What can we do?
The relationship between child neglection and abuse behaviour and childhood perception, the status of woman and family structure should all be revealed.
Researches should be conducted by independent experts and non-governmental organizations in this field and a policy should be developed in line with the research findings. It is very important to change social norms, to eliminate gender inequality within social norms, and to eliminate social emphasis on girls and boys as ‘different people’.
Considering all these, in order to prevent child abuse; first, we have to accept that the child is a social being. It is necessary to develop an approach to understand the nature of childhood rather than simply identifying the child in the grip of family, school and citizens. Definitions based on these fields blind their creativity by pouring the expected behaviour of the child into certain patterns and upset their identities.
Rather than seeing himself as a part of nature and society, he builds on being a good citizen, a good son and a successful student in the light of these expectations; when he is able to do so, he feels successful and integrated into society.
However, while trying to do this, the child does not even realize his own wishes, dreams and, more importantly, his own truth.
On the ground of this pre-acceptance; efforts to understand and protect children so far have been taken into account and the agreements signed. At the same time, it is essential to look at these studies with a critical eye.
First of all, even if parents have given birth to the world, they need to know that the child is not their property. The concept of ‘my child’ can go as far as breaking the child’s contact with life. The basis for the ability to decide the child and become an independent person is laid in the family.
If the family does not respect the wishes of the child, they are imposed on the child through social norms which does not allow the child to define his/her limits; the child cannot learn to protect himself or make decisions about himself/herself. If the family does not respect the wishes of the child, the child is often called names such as “spoilt” or “naughty.” This stops the child from being able to protect itself, as it is taught not to say “no.”
In such a case, it will be difficult for the child to say no in case of abuse.
Especially when these people are from within the family and from close environments; The perception of ‘family does not harm’ that develops the notion of the holiness of the family, is the most important condition that prevents the child from protecting itself.
In the same way; “be a good citizen” ’forms the basis for all kinds of violence against the child. A child is an entity with different emotions and thoughts than adults. We need to regulate our attitudes and approach to the child by constantly considering that it is a social entity.
Our role as adults is to guide children without interfering with their nature. We care about children’s thoughts without trying to imitate them; we need to provide them with a basis for discussion and rethinking.
Our ability to reproduce their ideas stands in a meaningful place in the fight against child abuse. Parental overprotective, repressive/authoritarian, child-centred or inconsistent/unstable attitudes also indirectly contribute to the legitimation of child abuse. For example; in an overprotective attitude, the child is no longer a social being but a dependent person. In such cases, parents stop the child’s contact with life and make the child null and void.
In a repressive and authoritarian attitude, all the feelings and thoughts of the child are ignored and often accompanied by violence. Whether violence is accompanied or not, then all kinds of violence against the child becomes legitimate, both in the child’s mind and in the community. The child perceives that violence from his family is not a bad thing; However, at this point, abuse is carried out by the family itself, and at the same time, every contact made during anger is already violent for the child.
The parents’ attitudes, along with the child’s own body and sexuality, does not recognize the situation of sexual abuse and the experience makes it perceived as a game.
In many cases of sexual abuse, the abuse continues for a long time, and the child’s inability to perceive the situation, especially the silence of adults around it is also very effective. From here; we think that it will be a form of defence for the child to know his / her rights and to recognize his / her body and sexuality correctly.
Providing children with the right information about ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’ will open a door for the child to recognize the situation and ask for help to end the situation. Good touch and bad touch (touching every part of the body, especially the special parts of the body, which makes the person feel bad, threatening and difficult, that is said to be a secret) should also be explained with the quality of the behaviour directed towards them.
We need to explain that the adult who makes this behaviour is threatening the child and advising the child not to tell anyone, that it is important to distinguish this touch as a bad touch.
In addition, it should be explained that this is not a behavior that can only come from strangers and that this behavior will have the same meaning from whomever it comes from. We think that this education should be planned with activities taking into account the age of the children and blended with gender studies and the children should be empowered in this regard.
We need to produce a child policy by bringing a deep and historical approach to the concept of childhood which is defined and approached in different ways through the ages. Within the scope of this policy; the child in need of protection, inadequate or incessantly loved and caressed, we need to remove from being an asset to the glass lantern.
Against the phenomenon of power produced by society, family and state; it is undoubtedly self-defence that the child recognizes its own body, recognizes the abuse and deciphers it without fear.
It is essential in this context to produce policies aimed at protecting the nature of childhood that is besieged and attacked from every field, to make the society a subject, and to increase efforts towards children’s rights.
Sarya Gören
